One Movie to See and Another to Skip (No. 66)

Movie to See: All Good Things

Based on a real story, this movie follows the life of David and Katie Marks from the couple's courtship to her ultimate disappearance. David has money, and family ties to some dark enterprises in New York City. Katie comes from your typical middle class upbringing and is quickly caught up in the trap that money can create when leaving an abusive spouse means you won't have any.
 
Gosling makes a good bad guy - quiet, but scarily unpredictable. Dunst similarly is a convincing conflicted damsel in distress - you want her to do the right thing, but like real life, a combination of self-inflicted stupidity and refusal to see the writing on the wall forces her into one poor decision after another. The authenticity of the situation makes the movie interesting to watch, if not for the real-life intrigue element. That having been said, this movie will never crack anyone's top 10.

Movie to Skip: Bloody Mallory

Ever wondered what any of the Blade movies would look like if done by the cast of Cleopatra 2025? Wonder no more! And now you can even see it in French!
 
The long and short of this one: kind of dumb, and pretty low quality. Pretty lame and skippable.
 

One Movie to See and Another to Skip (No. 65)

Movie to See: Original Sin

This movie is an odd period piece set in turn of the century Cuba. It's kind of a mystery movie in that the film spends a great deal of time trying to unravel the characters and their motivations. And it's also kind of a heist movie in that there is lots of double-dealing and plotting going on. Oh, and it's also jam-packed with copious amounts of 'just over the R-bar sex' with plenty of Jolie and Banderas for everyone -- if that's what you're looking for in a kind-of-thriller.
 
I won't go so far as to say that this is a good movie, but it certainly isn't a terrible movie either. The plot is kind of tired, and the execution feels a little heavy handed at times (not to mention the eyebrow raising reasoning behind everyone's actions), but it is forgivable if you're a Banderas or Jolie fan. In short, this movie is ok when there is nothing else on. But don't run out to rent it.

Movie to Skip: Gor

Have you ever thought to yourself "What was Jack Palance ever in other than those stupid City Slickers movies when he wasn't hosting Ripley's Beleive it or Not?" Well, if you've ever wondered, then Gor is the answer... sadly. But beyond the appearance of one-arm push-up pumping senior citizens, there isn't much else that this film has to offer. Well except for Vosloo, with hair! And let me just say... that is a disturbing sight...
I didn't know this going into it, but apparently Gor is a kind of subcultural phenomenon. That is, a subcultural phenomenon that denegrates women (they're slaves, of course) and advocates violence as the most sincere form of negotiation and the proper way to rule any and all people. This really isn't a good movie - and frankly a rather worriesome commentary on society. In fact, it's kind of awful. If you want to look this one up on Netflix to see Palance and Vosloo, well, it's ok for that reason, but feel free to use the fast forward buttons for the cheap chuckle. This one is a dog.
 

One Movie to See and Another to Skip (No. 64)

One Movie to See: Salt

There is really one word to describe this movie: Improbable. In fact, if there is one complaint I have about this film it is that it is simply not as realistic as many of the new films in the action/spy thriller like the Bourne trilogy - which is probably saying something (reads: those are pretty unrealistic too...). But that's not to say that Salt is so terribly unrealistic that you can't enjoy the ride. In fact, I really did enjoy the ride... even thought it stretched my believability muscles a little far.
 
One thing this film does make me wonder is if we'll get to see Jolie get back to any character roles or if she's doomed to play an action hero until she's just too old to do it any longer. I mean, don't get me wrong. I like seeing Jolie running around out there while blasting bad guys in silly Tomb Raider attire just like the next guy, but one would think there is a shelf life on that kind of thing. Rightly or wrongly, Harrison Ford will probably be diving over barstools and smashing beer bottles in bad guy faces until he has reached the ripe old age of... Sean Connery. But you certainly can't say the same thing of, say, Dame Judy Dench. Right? Maybe Jolie will buck the trend, but I kind of doubt it.
 
All that stuff aside, I admit that I really did enjoy this little flick. It's mindless, it's full of eye candy and ridiculous stunts, but I'm fine with that.

One Movie to Skip: Final

Denis Leary does a great job in this movie, but ultimately the film just feels like a not-so-subtle mix of 12 Monkeys and Momento. Unfortunately, in my humble opinion, it's not as interesting as either of them - and that might be giving 12 Monkeys a little more than it is due. That having been said, unlike the doomed love subplot in 12 Monkeys, for instance, the sub plot with doctor in Final is just not as compelling as it should be. Maybe we just didn't get enough information about her back story early enough to care. Surprise endings can have that effect on a movie unless we're given another reason to want to see the characters succeed (or fail). Anyway, the point of this review is that while the situation proposed in Final is sort of interesting, there just wasn't enough meat to really carry the movie. Leary can do drama; he does it every season in Rescue Me. But there is meat and history to that character. We don't get that back drop in this film, and it's a weaker film for that missing element. Try Momento or 12 Monkeys instead.

Nineteen Days and Counting...

Space Marine from THQ is almost here!  See the countdown clock here: http://www.spacemarine.com/home

Also floating around the internet is news that he demo for the game will be released August 23.  The PC version, downloadable on Steam, will be available August 18.  From everything I've heard, this game is completely living up to the hype and the THQ experience of the license. 

Way to go THQ!  Now... let's go smash some ork faces!

One Movie to See and Another to Skip (No. 63)

Movie to See: Doghouse

This movie is both very funny and also very British (reads: dark and often a little bit more moody than you would expect for a comedy). One thing is true about this flick: it is most definitely a guy movie. Here you have guys wanting to be tough, but realizing it's sometimes smarter to hide; guys playing with and getting a kick out of toys, even when the situation is at its darkest; a figurative (and literal) battle of the sexes, that the men realize is a losing war despite the victor; and plenty of silly shenanigans to keep you laughing throughout the film. If it weren't so bloody, this would definitely be a solid comedy instead of a funny horror movie.
  
I did find that the ending is a little... off. I'm not entirely certain of the 'point' of constantly charging back into the fray after you've managed to escape it, but that seems to be a constant theme throughout. Perhaps that, too, is part of being a guy. Regardless, this one is still pretty funny, and I forgive the weirdness of the ending. Could have done without some of the dramatic "I love you man" moments, especially since you don't need to make 'authentic' moments like that in a movie about zombies, but whatever. Still a good flick just for fun.


Movie to Skip: Sweet Karma

I wanted to like this one, but I just couldn't get into it. You see, as odd as it sounds to type this, I normally support anti-sex-slave trade movies. Not that I think there should be more of them, or that I particularly enjoy the subject matter, but perhaps I am channeling my inner-Kucher when I think it's a topic that deserves more attention. (Incidentally, I also channel my inner-Kucher whenever I model underwear... or go on dates with Demi Moore.) But this movie doesn't exactly tap into that same... empathy that movies of this ilk are supposed to channel. In fact, the whole cinematic experience left me a little hollow, and probably for more than just one reason. But I think it's the movie's 'artistic' qualities that failed me most.
 
The fact that French-Canadian model (and Playboy Playmate) Shera Bechard plays her role (Karma) as a mute doesn't add anything to this flick. Given the inherent difficulty of trying to portray a character in an emotionally (and often physically) taxing environment without speech can't be easy, but Bechard does an admirable job. At least, she's convincing enough to get me roped into the story, and I liked that. I suppose her character's handicap could have added an interesting element to the story by having her overcome her inability to speak in order to save her sister, but for some reason this movie just skips that possible avenue altogether. It doesn't add any tension to the story becuase somehow everyone seems to intuitively know what Bechard wants (cab drivers, bouncers, bar tenders, etc.). She merely nods and points, and her every wish is their command. It's kind of hard to believe and, in all honesty, creates an unavoidable elephant in the room that is never explained and merely detracts from the story. Misunderstandings happen all the time when people CAN speak, so I totally don't get the pointing = clarity approach. It's unrealistic and adds a "fake" undertone to her actions -- which were already pretty incredible to begin with.
 
Personally, I think the story would have been better if Karma's disability had actually added to the tension by creating difficult stumbling blocks along the way. How do you get people to trust you or to help you do apparently illegal actions without even being able to tell the other person WHY you're doing them? I mean, don't get me wrong, Bechard's a knockout, but she isn't THAT attractive. Her handicap simply doesn't slow her down in any fashion. I'm sure others would disagree with me, but if a character's trait (especially one that should make 'simple' human interaction more difficult) doesn't add to the story in any way, why put it in there in the first place? Why make a story obviously take place in New York city if the city (or its pace, it's "vibe", it's police force, etc.) doesn't mean anything to the characters in the story? Why make someone 9ft tall if a character's height is never an issue (even if it becomes an issue by the fact no one seems to notice)? Being mute is kind of rare, from my own experience. So, what's the point? I honestly don't understand why Karma is mute, and it really makes me feel like I've missed something important.
 
I did have the afterthought that maybe Karma was mute as a way of showing how "silenced" women are in our society. The outside world judges a women by the attractiveness of her pretty face, and every interaction she has thereafter is a reflection of how her physical beauty has been measured; what she says is not as important as how pouty her lips are when she says them. While I do like this possible artistic/societal commentary, I realize I'm just digging to save the plot element. It still doesn't work because we have no way to measure the world's interaction with Karma. She is beautiful, and there is no comparison to someone that is less attractive to see if Karma is getting more traction without saying a word simply because of her looks. Frankly, all of the women (well MOST) in this movie are attractive, they all have a wide range of intelligence and stations in life, and how they are treated seems to have nothing to do with their attractiveness whatsoever. So, I don't think my invented commentary truly holds any water.
 
Ultimately, all I'm left with is a deep suspicion that either the mute element of Karma's character was just slowly written out (without bothering to give her dialogue) during the production of the movie, or Bechard has a terrible speaking voice and everyone just thought it would be better if she kept her mouth shut. I've never heard her speak, so all I have are blind suspicions. My guess, however, is that it really boils down to poor writing and terrible character development. Everything else about the writing in this story is fairly pedestrian, so I have to chalk this up to another artifact of poor writing.
 
And speaking of poor writing, the ending of this movie is pretty terrible. While the story is ultimately a revenge plot, the 'revenge' element kind of falls flat in the last two minutes. This movie doesn't end the way I expected or really wanted it to (which is a fact of life, I guess). A lame twist is inserted into the end of this movie that: (a) knocks all of the wind out of the sails for those that might use this film as a call to arms against the sex-slave trade; (b) is such an abrupt and ridiculous ending that even M. Night Shyamalan would stand up at the end of the movie and say, "Well, why would I ever watch this one again?"; and (c) just smacks of the film makers realizing the bank account was starting to get low and simply filming a two minute sequence to wrap up the movie after about 30 minutes of sitting down to think of how all of the plot threads could be wrapped up quickly (with or without any real explanation). It has a disatisfying feel that can really leave you with a bad taste in your mouth if you bothered to give two shakes about Karma and her quest to save her sister. Just know that as soon as the police show up (after being suspiciously absent the entire way through), the movie is about to really suck...
 
I've written a lot, but it all boils down to this: Sweet Karma is not a great movie... but better than most movies I don't recommend. It had potential, but disappoints.
 

Politics as usual...

I read an interesting article by Time contributor, Bill Saporito.  The ending paragraph pretty much sums it up:
 
"Yet it has occurred to me that maybe S&P has a point. After all, this is a Congress that let the banking industry run amok, bailed it out with access to trillions of dollars of credit, and has since done precious little to ensure that the process won't be repeated. Nor would Congress reform the ratings industry, which played vital role in the crisis. Nor did it agree a deal worked out between Obama and House Speaker John Boehner that would have preserved the AAA rating. If our Congress is that dumb, perhaps we deserved the downgrade."
  
This is a fairly pointed article that doesn't hold any love for the S&P, Congress or the President.  And frankly, I'm not sure any of them deserve any...  (article: http://news.yahoo.com/why-congress-standard-poors-deserve-other-092005860.html) 
 
Whether you agree with Saporito or not is besides the point.  If you're under any illusion that one person or party is to blame for the debacle that is our federal government, then you're probably an idiot.  In fact, if you're convinced that any currently existing political party or politician is the answer to our current woes, then you should probably do the rest of us a favor and just tear up your voter registration card right now.  You're clearly contributing to the problem and are either too lazy or just incapable of thinking for yourself. 
 
The true crises that faces our country right now is that the foxes burned down the fucking hen house years ago, and none of us were smart enough to come running when we smelled barbequed chicken.  The longer it takes for us to clean house, and I mean completely clean house, the worse off we're going to be in the long run.  The old adage used to be that we needed lawyers to make our decision in Washington because business people and Joe-citizenry couldn't make the sacrifices and compromises necessary to make a functional government.  Well, I think it's pretty clear how that turned out: one party pontificates without any action, and the other one stamps its foot around like an angry toddler refusing to compromise, and all the while the real decision makers are pulling the strings to make us all believe that one or the other party is best.  The system is dysfunctional, and it needs replaced.  It would be nice if most Americans were (a) smart enough to realize this, and (b) would get off their fat asses to make a little change. 
 
Change starts at the voting booth, and I've got my own plan for getting this whole process moving in a more positive direction.  Step one: get rid of the incumbents.  They can't compromise, they clearly don't have the answer.  Thank the good Lord in heaven that these fuck-tards were not in charge of drafting the original Constitution.  They would not have been able to do it, and they are all lesser men and women for not living up to that standard.  They should be ashamed and begging for forgiveness, not pointing fingers.  My five year old can point fingers.  I expect more.
 
Step two: look for that third alternative on the ticket -- and I don't frigging care if its the Green Party, the Libertarian Party, or the Communist Party.  What we need is to empower the fringe.  There is too much power in two parties, and instead of thinkers, all we're getting are puppets with flashy teeth.  Get some new blood into the mix and lets get some actual ideas into this mix, even if they are a little 'out-there.'
 
Step three: after distributing the seats to anyone else who wants one, then we abolish the entire party system.  Gut it and destroy it.  If you affiliate yourself with a party, you're out.  We want 100% independents 100% of the time.  Make these people EARN our respect without a rubber stamp, because a rubber stamp means a foci of power, and that power is never in our best interest.  At best the foci thinks they are acting in our best interest, but what is actually happening is the power hungry trying to make us believe they have our best interest in mind. The party system was created, in many ways, to simplify our choices so that the common man wouldn't have to think.  Well, I think we've had plenty of that.  Even the parties and their candidates seem incapable of that any more.  Destroy the power structures.
 
Step four: term limits.  A politician's only goal is to get re-elected, and s/he will suck up to whatever power base (or power company) in his/her district to make sure that happens.  Let's make sure this is no longer a full time job.  Let these jerks get out in the real world and earn a living rather than telling us they know what it's like.  Who better to make decisions about creating jobs than people who actually have one?  Who better to know what the economy is like than someone who actually lives within it?  Politicians give lip service to us to get re-elected, but very very few of them actually understand what it's like out here because they're not here.  We don't need arm's length empathy, we need boots on the ground.  Those that represent us should be us, not a silver spoon elite created for the purpose of representing us.  They don't understand because they can't understand.  Never forget that.
 
Step five: I want to know every freaking penny that an interest group (or company, or individual, or whatever) has given to every single politician.  If you earn anything that isn't from your federal salary, you MUST report it.  Period.  None of this $X and above nonsense, because wherever you set the floor, the rats will crawl underneath it.  I want to make it as difficult as possible to accept a gift, and I want everyone to know who is being bought, and who is buying them.  Politicians will work for whomever butters their bread -- just like most of us.  If you want them to work for us, then they need to be paid BY US and no one else.  Right now, they belong to big money.  That's got to change.
 
How many changes is that?  Five? Doesn't matter.  The point is that right now politicians care about improving their power base and getting a cushy job for as long as possible so they can get some of that big money to line their pockets.  That isn't to say that all of them start that way, but they sure as hell end up that way.  And it will remain that way as long as the system exists as it currently does.  If you don't believe power corrupts, then quite simply, you've never had any, and you don't know what you're talking about.  These are some of the most powerful people in the world being pushed and manipulated by THE most powerful people in the world.  Why are you comfortable with that?  How on earth do you think that will ever benefit YOU or the people you care about?  

Want to fix the system?  Now you know what to do, and all you have to do for now is step one.  What?  You don't believe this will work?  Surely it can't be any worse than what those morons have been up to under the current system... 

One Movie to See and Another to Skip (No. 62)

Movie to See: The Book of Eli

Watching this movie is kind of like watching an adaptation of the (awesome) post apocalyptic video game Fallout 3. The mood and the visuals are pretty much spot-on in that sense. You get a definite feel that the story is taking place in the wasteland of the United States after all of the bombs have fallen and anarchy has taken over... or rather, anarchy, as directed by the most powerful regional warlord, has taken over. In addition to the spot on aesthetic, it also just 'looks' good, as we should all expect from high budget Hollywood movies. The look and feel of the movie is well paired with some fast paced action, and good acting by our intrepid wanderers. In addition to the title role played by the almost always good Denzel Washington, it also featured the always watchable Mila Kunis and Jennifer Beals, and the brilliant human-chameleon Gary Oldman.
  
All of the happy stuff aside, I must say that I was a bit dissatisfied by the way this one ended. In my personal opinion, the final reveal is just a tad unbelievable. Someone had spoiled the ending for me, so I was kind of keeping an eye out for the twist, but I'm not convinced the set up was solid enough to pull off Eli's big secret. That might have been handled a little better... although I do think it interesting that the "Book" of Eli has so much power associated with it. There's probably some truth to it, although I have to wonder just how useful it will be in the hands of people who haven't had the thousands of years of societal conditioning necessary to make it so potent. But maybe that's just me...
 
 
Movie to Skip: Pelt

I'm not sure why Netflix thought I'd like this one, but I certainly could have passed. The problem is that this movie desperately wanted to be both a comedy and a horror movie, but kind of failed at both. It wasn't scary and/or graphic enough to be a slasher (for the most part), and it really wasn't funny enough to be a comedy. Most of the comedy was just waaay too heavy handed. In fact, most horror movies, without even trying, are funnier than this one was. For a B-movie, the acting was about as bad as you would expect, although they did manage to find a 'pretty' cast, not that that really matters (especially when you're banging your head on the coffee table wishing it were all over...). A completely skip-able flick -- although still a better alternative than watching late night re-runs of Showgirls. But then again, most things are.
  

Just a little over a month away...

It's gonna be great!



September 9th...